Today, I had a conversation with a very dear friend, catching her up to all our news. I told her that Raizel is no longer in yeshiva. In fact, there was no local yeshiva that was even willing to accept her as a student for next year.
Often, I get criticism for this decision. Some members of my family, and good friends will tell me that I should have lied so that she could have been accepted SOMEWHERE.
This friend told me that better she should be in a class with lower functioning children than in public school. She said, “she will lose her connection to our faith.”
But, what will she think about herself if she is placed in a class with children who are not her peers and lower functioning? What would that do to her self-esteem and identity?
To my friend, and many others, it is better to be practicing our faith and integrated into the community, rather than to learn how to function at one’s maximum level of potential.
Other people I know, put themselves into huge debt, in order to finance a religious program. A religious program that in our case would not even meet our daughters’ needs and would require additional supplementation and expense.
I have learned though experience that everyone needs to decide for themselves what is best for their family. We all make choices in our life. Some of them will be good, and others will have consequences that we could not foresee. There is no one size fits all.
As parents, I believe that our greatest challenge is to teach our children how to function in life, be discerning and to think critically and independently. I prefer for Raizel to face these challenges while we are still able to have some influence over her, than in some unknown future date.
When we spoke to many Rabbis about our dilemma, the advice we were given over and over again was, “you have to build a vessel (k’lee) for the Torah. Without a proper vessel, it will not matter how much Torah you pour in. It will be like a sieve, and just poured down the drain.”
There are no easy answers. Every day, I pray and ask God to guide me and show me the correct path to travel. I hope and pray that I do what is right and pleasing in His eyes.
I found this online and I thought others might enjoy it too:
Here are the 2 links that I found this prayer on: